Two Noses Sneezing As One

Well, once again, it's Valentine's Day-- a holiday that I predict will one day be wholly subsidized by FTD, Russell Stover, See's, and De Beers, but not necessarily in that order. For some people, it's a way to get all romantic and mushy. For others, it's a day to mimic the holiday's earliest origins (if you really want to get into it, you can place a personals ad at Craigslist for a fellow devotee of S&M). For a number of us, such as an old acquaintance of mine, it's a birthday (while for most of us, it's an unbirthday). Quite a few folks celebrate their wedding anniversaries today as well. For true history buffs, there's always a remembrance of Al Capone and the days of '29. According to the entry at Wikipedia, women buy 85% of all valentines. Hmm...

Usually on Valentine's Day as a single guy, I either had a date or I didn't. Some years it meant quite a bit to me; other times it was just an insufferably painful holiday, and in reality, just another day on the calendar. Although she's still finding her voice, Erin Himmelmann, one of the newest bloggers over at DeafDC.com, has the single woman's take on the day: The Most Commercialized Holiday of All Times. Gee, Erin, I thought that was Halloween, or perhaps Christmas. I saw Halloween junk in the stores as early as late August, and it can never be too early to put out those Xmas ads all over town.

You might agree with her. Or if you're married as I am, you might see it as a lovely day, a day to celebrate the one you married (oh, wait-- that's the day of the wedding anniversary!). For me and my walking partner, it'll be a pleasant evening taking a break from all our worries, both legal and otherwise. Yet, while our hearts are beating as one, in China, lovers everywhere will be celebrating with their noses.

Yep, in an article I spotted online titled "Nothing says love like matching nose jobs," apparently Chinese couples are celebrating their ardor by getting his-and-hers plastic surgery. Don't like that hooked beak you inherited from great-auntie Ming? Get the same button your beloved has! You both hate what your genes and fate threw you? Just take a page from Michael Jackson and whittle away!

I'm not sure just how many of our friends in China are shelling out for new faces, but I'd love to see what happens ten or fifteen years from now. Will divorces, deaths, and time and gravity contribute to a new spate of plastic surgery, as people undo the work or get their noses re-built? Will this craze spread elsewhere? I can just see it now: matching nipples! Matching hairlines! Will other nations pick up on this new vogue? I wouldn't be too surprised, especially here in the land of the brave and the home of the free. People here already get matching tattoos and piercings; so why not matching body parts?

As for me, I think I'll settle for a quiet evening out at a local bistro and then some quality time afterwards. Happy Valentine's Day, wherever you are, whatever you're doing!